Paradox
by Bumbling Gingerbutt
Summary: Simply put, Scorpius Malfoy was a paradox. To some extent, Al had always known all this. He had just never realized it before. - rating may change, depending on later chapters
1. Possessed By An Idea

_A/N: It's a bit hard to explain the idea behind this fic. It's inspired by Inception, in a way. I really just took some quotes from Inception, then thought of a chapter based on each one, then put them in order and boom. So you're being presented with the result of that, congratulations. The plot isn't that creative, but I'm honestly more concerned about honing my writing on this one._

_Author's notes and disclaimers annoy me so I'm only doing this once. I don't own Harry Potter or Inception. So yeah. Enjoy, and things._

**Chapter One: Possessed By An Idea**

A pair of boys sat on the ground, leaning against a tree. They weren't facing each other, but were obviously engaged in conversation. Students passing through the courtyard all knew what was going on. They all proceeded to ignore it. They were accustomed to the heated debates of Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy – nobody wanted to witness more than they had to. It gets rather annoying after a while.

The sixth year boys clearly didn't feel the same way about their debates. They argued about any topic they could think of and still never tired. They were just so different, they didn't agree on many things. Even when it came to things they agreed on, sometimes one would take the opposing view just for the fun of another topic to tear apart. Not that they really needed to look – occasionally they would come back to topics that stuck in their heads. And the point of discussion could be anything. It could be a serious political issue, an insignificant assessment of some fashion trend among the girls in their year, some hypothetical prediction of how some scenario would play out…really, anything.

The current debate was one of the more ridiculous ones.

"You have to be kidding me…height shouldn't matter at all!"

"But it does. If you have to bend down too far to kiss her, it makes your neck uncomfortable, and that does not make for a pleasurable kissing experience."

"Not if you're sitting, or laying down," Al pointed out quickly. "Besides, Hayley's lips are chapped. Haven't you ever seen them?"

Scorp reflected for a moment, then admitted he hadn't noticed they were chapped. "But I'm sure I would have noticed if it was really that bad," was his retort. "Anyway, Hayley is the best out of all of them. Sharon has gingivitis, you'd probably drown in Elaine's saliva, and I bet Amber has never even been kissed."

Al raised his eyebrows and craned his neck to look at his best friend. "That's exactly why I think Amber would be the best. She'd have no clue what to do, so she would let you take the lead, and she'd follow. For some reason I don't think her roommates would be the same way."

There was silence as the blonde stared at him in disbelief. "You've never been kissed, have you?"

"What makes you think that?"

Scorp let out a light chuckle. "No need to get defensive, it's your business. But it's no fun if your partner doesn't take any initiative."

Al huffed and reevaluated his approach. He wasn't prepared for the conversation to take this direction. "Okay, we agree that kissing Sharon or Elaine would be hell, for obvious reasons. What, in your experience, makes a good kiss?"

"Well, like I said, when you're not initiating everything." Scorp licked his lips as he thought about other details. Al couldn't help noticing how pink and shining they looked. Definitely not chapped either. He found himself wondering if his friend had any gum diseases as well.

"Sometimes the atmosphere makes a difference." The brunette was jolted back to reality by the sound of Scorp's speech. Had he seriously been considering kissing him just a second ago?

"Oh, and how much you actually like the person. And it might not be so pleasant for you to kiss one of your cousins or something…oh but I'm forgetting the physical part, that's what you were asking about, right?" Their eyes met, and there was a long silence. Al was the one to break it, after he broke the eye contact and faced forward again.

"Yeah, that's what I was asking. But you're right, that's not all that matters."

And the boys realized how stupid it was to debate over which Hufflepuff girl in their year would be the best to kiss, and they fell into a thoughtful silence.

* * *

><p>Al never acted this way about anyone before. That's why he didn't immediately recognize his sudden obsession with Scorp as a crush, but now he was certain that was it. The blonde thing was all he could think about. And what an interesting specimen he was, now that Al was paying attention.<p>

The man defied all expectations set upon him. Quidditch and blood purity were about as important to him as dust motes. He was actually interested in history, and he lacked a certain flair for potions. And he was full of contradictions. Attentive, yet ignorant. Friendly, yet shy. Innocent, yet devious. He was airheaded. He was down to earth. He was masculine. He was feminine. Simply put, Scorpius Malfoy was a paradox.

To some extent, Al had always known all this. He had just never realized it before.

He could swear he was going mad. It had been a month, for Merlin's sake! A month ever since they had that bloody ridiculous conversation. Surely the blonde thing forgot about it within five minutes. And here was Al, acting like…this.

He was possessed by an idea. An idea that seemed so small, an idea he should be able to laugh at and brush away and never approach again. But it stuck, and it grew. Scorp was right, he hadn't ever been kissed…

How does it feel to be kissed?

Then it became how does it feel to be kissed by Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy?

It was all Albus ever thought about anymore.

* * *

><p><em>She was possessed by an idea, this one, very simple idea, that changed everything.<em>


	2. Out Of Control

**Chapter Two: Out Of Control**

It was ruthlessly sexy how the blonde thing ate his chips. He had absolutely no right to purse his lips like that as he chewed. They were almost puckered, almost as if he was about to –

For the thousandth time that meal, Al shook his head and looked back at his plate. He only referred to Scorpius as 'the blonde thing' in his head when he was being irritating, but at the moment Scorp wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. Even Al could admit that.

But when you're suddenly referring to your best friend as 'ruthlessly sexy', you don't care about that kind of thing much. Seriously, what was wrong with him? This was the first time he had ever been so obsessed with a person. And a boy!

Al forced himself to calm down and pop a piece of chicken in his mouth. There was nothing wrong with boys liking boys. He had always felt that way. It was just a shock to him that he was one of those boys that liked boys. Was he? Well, he was definitely bicurious at least. Besides, it was practically common knowledge that Scorp considered himself pansexual. So there was another positive detail. It would be infinitely worse if he was fantasizing about kissing a straight man.

Now that he was taking a more logical approach, Al was starting to feel better. He didn't do well with following his heart and all that. It only complicated things as far as he could tell.

He realized he had been silent through most of lunch. He listened to some of the chatter around him, trying to come up with something to talk to Scorp about. When he finally settled on discussing the day's Charms lesson (like the pair of perfect little Ravenclaws they usually weren't) he looked up and noticed something he wished he wouldn't have.

Just at the corner of Scorp's mouth was a bit of ketchup. Only a drop, really. But it was enough to make Al want to lick it clean, to run his tongue over the boy's bottom lip and slip it inside his mouth, tasting it thoroughly, only pulling away for breath –

And so the cruel cycle continued.

* * *

><p>Potions and herbology seemed to be the only times Al wasn't seen with a certain Malfoy at his side. They shared the rest of their classes, and they ate at the same table and slept in the same room and usually studied together in the Ravenclaw common room.<p>

Sometimes it was easier to ignore those lips when they weren't within his sight. Sometimes it was harder. Today happened to be one of the harder days.

For the second time that class period, Rose rolled her eyes at her potions partner and plucked a rat's tail out of his hand. "Bloody hell, Allie, you'll ruin the potion if you add it now!" She shook her head in disbelief at his stupidity, and huffed in annoyance, but Al could tell she wasn't angry. Rose was simply a bit of a perfectionist with a bit of a dirty mouth. And she was still calling him Allie, so there was a useful hint.

Still, Al muttered a quick apology and tried to get himself back on track. He scanned the instructions in his book and watched Rose, trying to figure out where she was. Stirring counterclockwise…and the potion was a light pink…the exact color of Scorp's lips, actually…

He didn't realize he was drifting off again until a snap in his face caught his attention. The small hand in front of him landed to point at a step toward the end. "We're here. The potion has to brew for two minutes, I have a timer set. Then we take it off the heat and let it cool for another minute, then add your precious rat tail, and the shrivelfig you were supposed to be skinning."

Al had the decency to at least _look_ sheepish under Rose's scrutiny. He looked down and started fumbling around for his silver knife. She sighed and picked up the ingredient herself. "There's something wrong, isn't there?"

He looked up in slight shock and watched her work. The change in demeanor was rather sudden. She was supposed to be angry at him for doing practically nothing all through class, but she wasn't. Rose was honestly concerned.

Al blinked a few times as he realized his silence had probably already given him away, even if it was only a few seconds. He decided to go for lying anyway. "No, everything's fine."

"Bullshit."

"No, really!"

"Bullshit."

"Rose."

She finished her work and checked the timer. "Okay, I know you're about to ask me if I'm so convinced you're not okay, why did I ask. Fair enough. But really, you've been acting so strangely lately, there's something going on."

"But you didn't even ask me if I'm okay, you just asked if there's something wrong." He didn't have to look at her to see her disapproval of his attempt to steer the conversation away from him.

"Really, Allie. If something's up I want to help you. I don't want to invade your privacy, but you look like something is bothering you, and it may help to talk about it. I don't need any details, you can be as vague as you want. But I think you need to talk."

Al made eye contact with his cousin. Most of what he saw there was concern. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "It's just that this year is so difficult…it's only October and I'm getting tired."

Rose raised her eyebrows in a way that communicated her thoughts perfectly – bullshit.

"I'm serious! It's not a big deal. I have it under control."

She stared at him until the little timer went off. Rose turned away from him in favor of putting out the fire under her cauldron. "It doesn't look like it, Allie."

He didn't respond, and Rose fell silent. They finished packing up their things about two seconds before the bell rang to dismiss them. Al was thankful for it. He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about it or not.

* * *

><p>Al wasn't always this emotional. In fact, he was usually pretty composed. This brunette biting his nails on the couch could be considered anything but composed. Scorp could only remember three times when his friend showed emotions so clearly like this.<p>

The first time was the Sorting, of course – he was so nervous about it. Even though they all loved each other, Al was something of a black sheep in his family. He was aware that he didn't quite fit in with them. Considering that most of them were Gryffindors, he was also aware that he wouldn't quite fit in with that house, and so he automatically feared the worst...Slytherin. That only lasted from that morning until he was sorted into Ravenclaw though.

The second time was Lily's first date the year before. She was a third year at the time, so of course Albus and James were inclined to lecture her that thirteen was too young. It didn't matter to the pair of brothers that many people – including James, the hypocrite – had their first crushes at or even before the age of thirteen. So of course Lily brushed them off, and they fretted until they got it through their heads that this particular boy was smitten, and if anyone would be hurt at the end of that relationship it would be him (and he was a few months later, though Lily tried to be gentle about it). That was only about a week and a half though.

The third time was right now. It's been a month since he first saw it and Scorpius was starting to get really worried about his friend. He wondered if Al noticed – probably not. He was a bit imperceptive at the best of times. Surely while he was so intensely troubled, he was downright oblivious.

Or maybe Al did notice that Scorp was worrying, and was trying to hide it? The brunette hardly ever made eye contact with him anymore, even in their debates. As he thought this, Scorp looked over and caught Al looking in his direction. The blonde turned to see if there was anything behind him, but there was only the stone wall of the common room. He turned again, this time making eye contact for a second before the Potter gave him a small smile and looked away. Yes, he probably didn't want Scorp to worry. It was just like him to try to handle his emotions on his own. A bit stubborn of him, really.

But Al wasn't stupid. He would probably give it up and talk about it eventually, even if he did it through some poor attempt at starting one of their hypothetical debates. Still, Scorp knew that it would be no good to try to get him to talk when he quite obviously didn't want to.

They were the same when it came to that.

* * *

><p>"<em>You. What the hell was all that?"<br>"I have it under control."  
>"I'd hate to see it out of control."<em>


	3. Your World Is Not Real

**Chapter Three: Your World Is Not Real**

"Do you think drastic change can happen instantly? I think it's pretty obvious that it can happen over time, but could a person just…wake up one day as someone entirely different?"

Al propped his elbows on the table and leaned forward expectantly. Scorp smirked at him and went back to peeling his orange. He couldn't tell if this was the venting he was half expecting or just some way to distract himself. Back in third year they had a similar discussion, and at the time Al seemed pretty adamant when he stated that people change, 'but they don't just change, just like that!'

"If something happens to trigger the change, then yes," he answered easily. Scorp decided he should elaborate a little as he separated his orange slices. "Let's say something huge happened to change your life, something you never saw coming. Wouldn't it make sense that you would also change in a way you never saw coming?"

"I suppose that would make sense. I wouldn't be surprised if that's happened to someone before, actually. But could the trigger be something…normal?" When Scorp looked up, he saw his friend looked unsure of himself. Maybe unsure of the question he was posing, or trying to pose? Or maybe he was simply afraid of the answer he might get.

Scorp decided to ask for more clarification before talking. "What do you mean by something normal? I highly doubt Professor Collins would talk any less if he got a haircut."

"Professor Collins doesn't talk any more than necessary, Scorp. You just don't like Defense Against the Dark Arts lectures."

"Not the point."

"Right." Al paused for a deep breath, something he only did when he was really concentrating on his response. "Sudden drastic events can cause sudden drastic changes. Can we assume that much?" He waited for Scorp's nod to continue. "Well, what about overhearing two people having a conversation about what they were going to do that weekend, or reading a novel written half a century ago, or seeing graffiti on the bathroom wall? Could something so…_ordinary_ cause such a change?"

Scorpius bit into an orange slice as he thought about the question. His instincts automatically said no, that's ridiculous, but…what was ordinary to one man might be bizarre to another. The same story might be funny to one person, sad to another, boring to another, and offensive to another.

"It's all about perspective…I mean, two people looking at the same thing will probably see two different things. So if it's ordinary to you, then I don't think it could change you. But if there's something off about it…and it makes you think…I suppose it could."

Then he remembered – something of the same nature actually happened to him once. It was a little thing, really, but if it had never happened…

"Yes it definitely could. It could change your whole world, in fact."

Al seemed surprised by the statement. Well, it was probably more the change of tone from thoughtful to certain. At any rate, he finally seemed to have something other than a question for him. "For it to change your whole world, it would change nearly everything about you and your relationships with others. That sounds like something only depression, anxiety, or downright insanity can do."

"Oh, but we're all at least a little insane."

"Scorp."

"Really!" He raised his eyes to meet the serious green eyes. He knew perfectly well that Al didn't like it when he said things like that, things that sounded like they came from the mouths of pretentious poets. Usually Scorpius respected this and refrained from trying to tie their debates to subjects like reality versus fantasy, but he honestly felt like this came into play. "We all have our own interpretations of everything, so essentially we all see a different world. Which means we're all living in our own worlds. Which makes us all insane."

Al sighed, clearly losing track of what his friend was trying to say. "So you're saying…how I see the world is not how you see it."

"Right."

"And something could happen – something bizarre to me but utterly normal to you – that could change what I see."

"Yes. And it will keep changing until what you see is real."

"You're losing me."

Scorp licked the juice off his fingers as he thought. Quite honestly, he didn't really know what he was saying either – or rather, he didn't know if he was expressing himself properly, which was nothing new. He didn't speak again until the only remains of his orange were the pieces of the skin.

"Nobody just goes into life knowing everything. Not even everything about themselves. As we grow, we learn, and as we learn, we change. We change the way we act, the way we think, the way we feel, the way we express ourselves. Some of these changes just happen to be huge, and sudden. So, say you were dropped into the world as you saw it when you were five. Knowing what you know now, it wouldn't feel real to you. Does that make any sense?"

He watched the brunette ponder the idea. Was he just imagining it, or was the guy taking longer to think than he usually would have?

"I suppose it does." No, it didn't. Not completely, anyway.

* * *

><p>Albus had a break while Scorpius had muggle studies. He usually used this break to study for potions, but that was obviously not going to happen today, not after that conversation.<p>

What the hell was that all about, anyway? _'We're all at least a little insane.'_ No, we're not, or else we would all be taking potions for that! Frustrated, Al quit pacing and flopped on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

He had honestly followed when Scorp started actually trying to explain himself instead of doing sexy things with his mouth and that orange. (No, really, it shouldn't be possible to be jealous of a damn orange.) It was only when he brought in the concept of the entire world that he was confused.

No, wait. That's not what he meant, not really. He was saying it in a different way than Al would have said it.

By 'world' he meant 'point of view'. Or at least something like it, since a point of view can't really be fake. Maybe 'impression'? Anyway, Al got the feeling that Scorp was speaking from experience. That something had happened to him, to change his world. Some kind of trauma? Or maybe just a realization?

That was it. Al sat up, thinking he finally had the answer to the question he asked.

Yes. A realization can change your world dramatically.

And no, he can't go back to the way things were before – not completely.

* * *

><p>For once, Scorpius wasn't paying attention in muggle studies. He was replaying that conversation again and again. Some instinct told him it had something to do with what was bothering Albus so much. He hadn't noticed a change in his friend, besides the constant worrying.<p>

So was it something to do with one of Al's other friends, or his cousins who made up half the school?

Or was it just that something made Al think, really seriously evaluate all the things he always thought to be true?

Or…was he coming to some kind of realization? Doubting who he was? Falling in love? Coming to terms with his mortality?

Could be anything with that boy, really.

* * *

><p><em>Your world is not real.<em>


End file.
